509/90. For Those of You Just Joining Us


Episode promos

Episode credits and cast

Episode descriptions

Episode disclaimer

Episode commentary

Promo:

Credits:

Writers... Alex Kurtzman and Roberto Orci
Editor... Steve Polivka, A. C. E.
Director... Bruce Campbell
Original Air Date... Jan. 4, 1999

Cast:

Kevin Sorbo/Hercules... Kevin Sorbo
Paul Robert Coyle/Iolaus... Michael Hurst
B. S. Hollinsfoffer... Robert Trebor
Norma Bates... Tamara Gorski
Melissa Blake... Lisa Chappell
Jerry Patrick Brown/Ares... Kevin Smith
Liz Friedman... Hudson Leick
Sunny Day... Reneé O'Connor
Robert Tapert... Bruce Campbell

Description:

Disclaimer:

Due to circumstances beyond our control, some staff members were ridiculed, laughed at and generally made fools of during the production of this motion picture.

Commentary:

Campy episode of the year, for sure. Universal Studios suit B. S. Hollinsfoffer threatens to cancel Hercules because of last season's storylines. The Renaissance Pictures staff plus series star Kevin Sorbo head out on a corporate retreat at Camp Wannachuck to solve the problem. What happens next is just like a very bad episode of Scooby Doo. I half-expected B. S. Hollinsfoffer to say, "And I would have gotten away with it, if it weren't for that meddling Sorbo!" To make a point, a much better comedy than "Genies and Grecians and Geeks, Oh My".

Kevin Sorbo/Hercules: Besides Ares, Kevin is the only one who knows the truth: he is Hercules. Also the only one who comes up with a plausible storyline: Iolaus' death and how Hercules deals with it (which right now is the current storyline). How he protects his identity is a hoot. Example: he and the staff are locked in a sweat lodge. Solution: yell "Look! It's Mel Torme!," and while everyone looks away, break down the locked door and say that it fell off by itself. Loved the way he found the would-be murderer; you have to watch the episode (or read the Whoosh! synopsis) to find out, though. Line of the episode: (As Kevin.) "What do I know? I'm just an actor." (Repeat 4 more times.)

Paul Robert Coyle/Iolaus: Michael Hurst once again is laughable as Paul Robert Coyle, a burnout who admits he drinks while he's asleep. Jerry Patrick Brown treats him like a puppy yet to be housebroken. Constant hitting on Melissa Blake results in a knockout punch in the sweat lodge. As for his personality: and I thought sometimes I was paranoid. As for Iolaus, the footage of Robert Tapert's thoughts about how he should die are for me hilarious. Five viewings later (in two weeks), the sight of Iolaus saying "Friends forever. Right, Herc?" and then spontaneously combusting is a riot. Line of the episode: (As Iolaus.) "Friends forever. Right, Herc?" (Iolaus explodes in a fireball.)

Sunny Day: Reneé O'Connor's fourth appearance on "Hercules" (counting the telemovie Hercules and the Lost Kingdom) as a camp counselor with a Southern accent is amusing. She becomes a parody of the usual villain on Scooby Doo, as mentioned before, late in the episode. In the end, a nice comedic depature from Gabrielle. Line of the episode: Sunny: "Everyday you'll see a sunny day, 'cause that's my name: Sunny Day." Liz: "Pray for rain."

Robert Tapert: Continued adventures of a plagued producer. His staff doesn't care about him, B. S. Hollinsfoffer doesn't care for his stories, and Tapert personally doesn't care about quality. He takes the staff to a bottom-of-the-line corportate retreat named Camp Wannachuck, which includes a crazed-looking cook with the interesting name of Norma Bates. Tapert tries the catch-me-while-I-fall-backwards trust exercise with his staff, only to fall flat on his back. Robert Tapert's new story ideas are zany, including how he kills off Iolaus, as well as a man collecting for some sun-worshipping church having the door slammed in his face. Line of the episode: "Come on, gang. It's Sorbopottamus 3, Renaissance 0."

Liz Friedman: Obviously hates Tapert, as seen in the teaser. Tapert is thrown out of Hollinsfoffer's office and lands with his head in a trashcan. Melissa Blake removes it, asks if anything is broken, Tapert says no, and Liz remarks, "Damn!" Liz reminds me of the Cigarette Smoking Man from "The X-Files." By my count, Liz went through seven or eight cigarettes by the end of the episode. Liz is also impressed by Tapert's notion to kill Iolaus, saying Iolaus was killed twice already (Hercules and the Amazon Women and Not Fade Away). Thing to listen for: Liz gives off Callisto's trademark hiss when she sees Norma Bates brandishing the butcher knife. Line of the episode: (Thinking.) "How could those b*st*rds cancel "Ellen"?

Jerry Patrick Brown/Ares: The good ole Southern writer struts around again, as well as the god of war. Ares tells brother Hercules that he feels hurt by the slander he has to suffer, and demands merchandising rights. What he gets is the boot out of the speeding car Hercules is driving. Ares is also apparently responsible for Hollinsfoffer's actions, promising him a cable network if B. S. cancels Hercules. Jerry treats Paul Robert Coyle with contempt (as well as Robert Tapert), and eventually punches Paul twice (but tries to kill Rob twice). Also, Jerry has some fascination with "The Star-Spangled Banner." I wonder if he's also related to Ares: Jerry loves war, and likes the fact that Ares is real. Line of the episode: (As Ares, in a high voice working a Hercules action figure.) "Oh my God! It's Kevin Sorbo!" (Ares bites the head off the action figure he holds, throws it from the car, and in normal voice.) "Oh, the humanity!"

B. S. Hollinsfoffer: Robert Trebor returns as the Universal suit, threatening to cancel Hercules, unless he receives three things: more action, more romance, and more episodes with Salmoneus in them. Hollinsfoffer obviously wants to cancel Hercules as he explains that his plan was first to drive the staff crazy with the team exercises, and when Kevin showed up, realized he would have to do the job. Almost typical response from a cartoon villain, indeed. Line of the episode: B. S.: "Wherever there's tv, there'll always be B. S.!" Kevin: "You got that right."

Melissa Blake: Lisa Chappell reappears as Tapert's assistant, although she doesn't try to kill him this time around. She loves Kevin, and gives Kevin a standing ovation twice for his story ideas. Melissa also deals with Paul Robert Coyle's advances by knocking him out in the sweat lodge. I missed her attempts at murder this time; it showed a great deal about herself. Action of the episode: Every time Robert Tapert tells his staff to congratulate Kevin, Melissa jumps up and claps giddily.

Norma Bates: Tamara Gorski returns, not as Morrigan, but as an insane-looking cook named Norma Bates (Gee, I wonder where they came up with that name?) who turns out to be from studio security. She looks to be the culprit, especially when the staff first sees her with a kitchen knife (with a computer-enhanced sunlight-gleam on it), but the episode's too weird for the obvious villain to be the villain. Action of the episode: When Norma hands Kevin the note saying, "Sunny Day is B. S. Hollinsfoffer."


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