HERCULES GOES BACK TO SCHOOL--
(A rumble goes on inside the Academy.)
Hercules (to Jason): Oh, they grow up so fast.
TO CLEAN UP CAMPUS.
Hercules: Nothing beats experience.
(A pile of weapons in a fire pit.)
(Zylus pulls a ninja-like weapon on Tabor.)
BUT AS THE NEW HEADMASTER--
Hercules (to Zylus): You're expelled.
CAN HE TAME THIS WILD BUNCH?
(Zylus, dressed like a ninja, attacks Hercules.)
Zylus (to Upperclassmen): School is in session.
(A group of toddlers mob Iolaus 2.)
Iolaus 2: They're walking all over me!
Zylus: Burn it!
(Upperclassmen attack the Academy.)
Hercules: Someone is definitely getting detention!
(Zylus battles Hercules.)
ON AN ALL NEW HERCULES!
Writer... Paul Robert Coyle
Editor... David Blewitt, A. C. E.
Director... Charlie Haskell
Original Air Date... Mar. 28, 1999
Hercules... Kevin Sorbo
Iolaus 2... Michael Hurst
Jason... Jeffrey Thomas
Zylus... Ryan Gosling
Lilith... Susan Brady
Seska... Jodie Rimmer
Tabor... Albert Belz
Headmaster... Geoff Snell
Upperclassman #2... Andrew Eggleton
Upperclassman #3... Allen O'Halloran
Peddler... Glenn Ellerin
Kid #1... Nicholas Baker
Kid #2... Cameron Stanton
Kid #3... Chelsea Howell
Upperclassman #4... Ben Cook
Support the United Grecian College Fund. A mind is a terrible thing to waste, much like the vacation plans of certain Young Hercules cast members.
Three weeks go by before a new episode is shown, and this one is worth the wait. Hercules finds that his beloved Academy is being turned upside-down by a group of upperclassmen. Jason learns that his relationship with Lilith so long ago actually resulted in the birth of his daughter. And we discover that Iolaus 2's jester skills are of some use in this episode as a method of teaching children. There is also a tiny crossover in this episode from Xena: a little something called Henbane. Last time I heard, Gabrielle got mixed up with it and literally ended up with a "rock" group...
Hercules: Not much to say. Stripped bare, his role is a typical Hercules role as he finds disorder at the Academy, takes charge, and fights off who caused the problems to begin with. This episode focused more on the guest stars. Line of the episode: Zylus (almost defeated): "You need a haircut." (Hercules punches Zylus in the face, and he falls.) Hercules (runs a few strands of hair through his hand): Maybe I do need a haircut."
Iolaus 2: He still thinks that this world is exactly like his world, and is afraid of it. Iolaus 2 has a ways to go on this issue. Also, I bet no one thought that Iolaus 2 would ever wear his jester hat and hold his jester scepter ever again, much less use his scepter as a weapon (in the Teaser). Oh, well. Iolaus 2 learns that to teach young kids, sometimes you've got to act like one. Overall, Iolaus 2 might have a niche as a teacher. Line of the episode: Iolaus 2 (to Hercules re the children; perhaps a tiny homage to a certain Raimi-Tapert-Campbell film): "They are the army of darkness."
Jason: We find out that Young Jason's relationship with Young Lilith ended not with Lilith going back to her Amazon tribe, but continued with the birth of their daughter, Seska. The ex-king of Corinth learns that he has a daughter, and the knowledge actually energizes him, much like his marriage to Alcmene did. At the end of the episode, Jason finds himself finally getting over Alcmene's death and rekindling his love for Lilith. He reconciles with his daughter Seska, and since he loves her so much, Jason leaves Hercules and Iolaus 2 to run the Academy. Line of the episode: Jason (waking up from Henbane poisoning; kinda like Gabrielle from Xena's "Altared States"): "I'm starting to see straight again. I see only seven fingers on each hand."
Zylus: I don't know what to say. Zylus is a lot like Hercules, as he keeps two steps ahead of his opponent. He's equally charming as Autolycus when he wants to be, and can also be as deadly as a warlord. Zylus mocks everything that Cheiron taught Hercules, and that is what got him into trouble. Be sure to look out for Zylus' specialized weapon: he's invented the first lethal dart gun.
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